by Gabe Downey
If you’re a driver here in Metro Detroit, you’ve know doubt seen this bumper sticker attached to random SUV’s and mid-size sedans all around town. For some reason, I’ve seen a wash of them lately even though it seems this whole program was initiated about a year ago. And, everytime I see one of these stickers, I vomit in my mouth a little.
I consider Detroit to be my home town (even though I grew up in a suburb slightly north of it) and some of my fondest memories have been spent going to Tiger games at both Tiger Stadium and Comercia Park, Wings games at Joe Louis with family and friends, Lafayette Coney Island, Slow’s, Mexican Town, Green Town, Hitsville USA, the DIA, shows at the Fox, Fisher, Jazz and Taste Festivals, Corktown Tavern, Bert’s, Lager House etc. I love the history of being able to see the Train Station (though dilapidated) that took so many young kids including my grandfather off to fight the most important war in our history. There is such much culture and history in Detroit that I consider it a pleasure to grow up here. Why then, you would ask, do I hate these bumper stickers?
Here’s why: Why don’t these people get out and actually DO something about the problems Detroit is facing then just hope and pray to an invisible man in the sky whom probably either a) doesn’t exist or b) if he does exist, certainly hasn’t given much of a fuck about Detroit up to this point. Stop thinking of yourself as a fucking hero for putting an ugly yellow bumper sticker on your car and actually go out and do something. The only thing that will ever bring Detroit back to a vibrant city will be through human participation and support, not divine intervention.
It’s time we grew up and actually faced our problems head on instead of just leaving them for someone else (real or not). So, here we go. I’m proposing a new sticker that we can all put on our cars and not look like these morons that are driving around today. Let’s have a vote! Pick which one you like and I’ll print some up and give them out to anyone who wants one.
and my personal favorite:
5 Comments
May 31, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I would seriously put any one of these on my car. I like 7 (“because I actually care… fantasy land.”) the most (1, 6, 8 are runner-ups).
May 31, 2009 at 3:24 pm
That’s funny, I was just gonna blog about Detroit too. I like the “with my actions, not my thoughts”.
June 1, 2009 at 5:30 pm
I agree. This is what I’ve been thinking for a long time. Everyone has given up on Detroit and the “leaders” of the city are no help. I have so many ideas for that city but no way to implement them. I like the bumper sticker that says “I lift Detroit with my actions, not my thoughts”. It’s less controversial and I think it could really catch on. Another one that would be cool is “Hey Detroit! It’s time to kickout the hoodrats and elect better Democrats.”…..lol..j/k
June 1, 2009 at 8:28 pm
I like 1, 5, 7 and 8.
I’M ON A BOAT.
June 12, 2009 at 7:21 am
This is awesome. i love all the bumper stickers, you shoud really make these…